An introduction and a beginning

I will start with a question. Why am I writing a blog? After all they are not something new. In the past I kept a journal. That ended for many years (I will discuss this and at least some of the reasons why in future posts).
I have always enjoyed writing, whether it be general or deep thoughts; or stories from the depths of my imagination. These writings have never been publicly shared beyond one or two close and trusted friends.

I have been considering for sometime to write a blog; only just recently did I decide to actually do it. This may be due some recent changes in life. These changes are relatively small (or perhaps 'normal' is a better word), to me they go far beyond normal. As a disclaimer I will state that I do not consider these changes to be any kind of salvation. Instead, the changes I refer to have provided an opportunity for me to finally take a step in order to see with a new perspective. Like a door opening...

For those who knew me in my more 'youthful' days, you would perhaps have described me as passionate, positive, of deep conviction, purposeful, believing, filled to bursting with dreams, idealistic, optimistic, arrogant, and full of promise. I was successful at the things I pursued; and I pursued those things with a relentless and perhaps ferocious tenacity.

I no longer remember that person. Or at least I cannot remember what it was like to have those perspectives. Beauty was once a thing of vibrant color that turned to shades of gray. Dreams, once a thing of possibility, now forgotten piles of bitter ash. (Too harsh? well I write differently than I talk... if it is too harsh it may be best for you to stop now) I do not foresee there will be many 'lol's or 'j/k's. If there is one thing I still have, it's honesty, at least in what I write. I do, however, know hope and I know it is real and tangible for me.

For a time now - I'm not sure how long truthfully - I have been considering the many changes that took place, the effect they had upon me, and where - and perhaps - who I feel I am now.

The purpose... I sit here at my computer and wonder at the purpose for this blog - if there is any. I assume it will come eventually. No, as I think on it I know the purpose is, at least in part, hope.

In this blog I will consider what is past, things that occurred, their ramifications, their current result and even perhaps the possible course of the future. Who knows, perhaps I may even learn - once again - how to dream. I plan to expand on the things I have stated in this post.

I am not a musician nor a painter. If I am gifted in a form of art, it is writing.

I welcome feedback and the thoughts of any who wish to read/follow.