Summer is a busy time thus I have not had the opportunity to put together another post in a while. I wish to continue where I left off.
I know I had taken the time to discuss the a small portion of the aftermath I experienced. Allow me a moment to lay out some of the circumstances in my life during this period.
The economy was pretty messed up. The housing market was tanking and jobs were scarce (at least for a guy who only had an aviation management degree with no experience in the field to speak of). But I was married and had to pay the bills. Unable to find any other job, I took a job in a call center for a local bank. I considered this a temporary measure until I could find a 'real' job.
The economy was pretty messed up. The housing market was tanking and jobs were scarce (at least for a guy who only had an aviation management degree with no experience in the field to speak of). But I was married and had to pay the bills. Unable to find any other job, I took a job in a call center for a local bank. I considered this a temporary measure until I could find a 'real' job.
Like other things I've pursued, I put my full effort into excelling in this job even though it was in a cubicle and answering phones for eight to ten hours a day (including weekends). I did excel in my position. In nine months I became a banker at a local banking office. I had a lot of fun in that job, mostly because of the people I worked with.
During these years, I did not always feel the sting of shattered dreams. In fact I was kind of shocked that I didn't disdain the corporate life. I think, as I look back, I liked it at least in part because it was eight hours that I could take my mind off of the dreams that were lost.
But they were ever lingering in the back of my mind. It was the worst in the quiet and in the dark; those times when there were no distractions only the silence of sad memory. This is not an exhaustive list, but I had stopped enjoying music, stopped enjoying sunsets, and stopped enjoying nature. Such simple beauty now felt like an empty shell; it no longer felt real for me.
Once close friendships became distant; some due to literal distance while others just faded away.
I'm sure it was hard to be around me if I was able to be honest about how I felt about my life. If you have read theses posts, you can imagine what I might have sounded like if given the opportunity to vent. Maybe you've noticed that people sometimes have a hard time listening. A truly great friend can listen to the emotional, verbal vomit of another friend and not say things like 'it's about perspective' or 'hey man you just have to get after it' or 'dude, you just need to move on and forget about it' or 'at least you still have A,B, and C'.
Those are the kind of words to speak in the middle of the fight in order to encourage perseverance. These are not the words a wise person would speak to a friend in the aftermath of the friend's defeat. I mean, if you visited your friend who was just in a major car accident, and he told you he was in a lot of pain and unable to walk due to compound fractures in his legs, don't tell me you would tell him 'to get over it and just walk out of the hospital'.
Sometimes when you speak to a friend about something, you can read those words in the expressions you see on their faces. That's when you know you've buried them, at least in part, in your verbal vomit. Then you proceed to try to dig them out by telling them things like the following:
"Well I guess it's about perspective and I'll just have to move on and forget about it. I mean at least I still have A, B, and C right? Well I guess I'll have to get after it; hey, man, thanks for listening."
That usually gets them far enough that they will no longer feel so buried. In the Bible, Job didn't follow this advice so maybe we shouldn't either.
In martial arts, we have a term we refer to as 'centered'. When centered you are in balance and ready to strike or defend. In the aftermath I have been describing I had lost my center and was terribly off balance. I felt like I was adrift on an ocean with only the debris of a wrecked ship to stay afloat with no shore in view and no rescue boat on the horizon.
Once I lost my 'balance' I could not find it try as I might. Life became a never-ending, shrinking cycle of monotony. I suppose some seasons of life are like that; they seemingly stretch out in a barren wasteland though you ache for an end to it. I think many of us experience seasons like this in our life.
I tremendously value the kind of friend that sticks it out with you in these situations. The value of a friend who walks with you (on any level) is something of priceless value. For if you find yourself in a state of shattered dreams, you're virtually unable to maintain friendships that are more shallow much less make any deep and lasting friendships. Thus as your life shrinks so does your social circle.
If you have a friend who has stuck it out with you during the worst season of your life, take a moment and thank them for it and to let them know how much you appreciate them in your life.
Once I lost my 'balance' I could not find it try as I might. Life became a never-ending, shrinking cycle of monotony. I suppose some seasons of life are like that; they seemingly stretch out in a barren wasteland though you ache for an end to it. I think many of us experience seasons like this in our life.
I tremendously value the kind of friend that sticks it out with you in these situations. The value of a friend who walks with you (on any level) is something of priceless value. For if you find yourself in a state of shattered dreams, you're virtually unable to maintain friendships that are more shallow much less make any deep and lasting friendships. Thus as your life shrinks so does your social circle.
If you have a friend who has stuck it out with you during the worst season of your life, take a moment and thank them for it and to let them know how much you appreciate them in your life.
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